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As a note to listeners, this show does talk about abusive relationships and other sensitive subject matter.

What you’ll hear in this episode:

• The hosts’ backgrounds and what motivated them to start this podcast
• How survivors are able to leverage their experiences and channel them into
• What “special skin” is

Leveraging Life is all about telling stories of people who have overcome incredible adversity and have been able to channel it into their own success. This includes hosts Becky Henderson and Courtney Santana.

Henderson is a survivor of child abuse and Santana is a survivor of domestic abuse, but that does not define them. In fact, it’s transformed who they are as people and motivated them to dedicate their lives to serving others. Not in spite of their survivorship, because of it.

“If all you can see is the hurt or the pain, or the frustration and, you know, maybe you failed at something or something didn’t work out the way you wanted it to,” Henderson explains. If that’s all you’re looking at, it’s easy to miss — here’s the tool that I’ve been given. Here’s the gift that I’ve been given in this. And so this Leveraging Life is actually being able to share stories that can shift the perspective of our listeners, of our audience to be able to start recognizing this is how life has gifted me as well.”

Listen to the first episode of Leveraging Life to hear more about Henderson and Santana’s incredible and inspiring stories and how they are using their “special skin” to help other survivors when they need it most. In future episodes, guests join them to talk about how they are Leveraging Life! If you like what you hear, share this episode with your friends or family!

Hosts: Becky Henderson & Courtney Santana

 

Transcript:

this is a founding media podcast

hi and welcome to the first episode of leveraging life I’m here with my beautiful and amazing co host extraordinaire thank you henderson and I’m courtney Santana we’re really excited about today it’s gonna it’s gonna open up some stuff that we want to talk about yes hello there Hey so weird let’s talk about what leveraging reference someone absolutely and what we’re trying to accomplish with this yes what so 

leveraging life is about sharing stories of extraordinary men and women who have overcome adversity and not just to have a great life for themselves but have actually turned it and transformed it into a mission in serving others yes yes yes that’s the best way stick the limits and turn it into lemonade and I think that’s kind of what we’re talking about with different our guests and different topics so I’m excited because I got to see her notes and they’re really really good and I was like hi signature that in so I’m excited to to bounce and play with the topics and do a little dance it’s gonna be fun 

yeah and so they were really going to be introducing who we are where we come from why we’ve created leveraging life in the first place right support to us absolutely yeah we should talk about maybe even how like we we came up with the name and and how you know this all came to be what what what is leveraging rational is that look like so it really is both of us have had experiences in life where we’ve had to overcome and we’ve seen the the power in the impact that when we can we can thrive not just in spite of what happened to us but actually because of it and actually use it not try to forget it not trying to downplay it but actually use it and leverage it for something greater something better yeah it’s interesting when people try to kind of I guess I bury the trauma it’ll show up in a different way so it’s to me it’s it’s cathartic for us to like actually look at it address it and then see what we can do it right now so courtney want to tell our audience a little bit about you and how you got here

while I’m again here how did you hear well it’s interesting I am I am I went to UT law school and I went to university of Texas with the intention of going to law school and I met this young man and he and I got into this really quick and fast relationship and the relationship became pretty abusive pretty quickly and it ended three years later after my children and I had to escape and go to the local shelter to get help and the resources so I can get back on my feet but that whole process was it was different I learned a lot about myself and the actual journey through the abuse answer that the violence and I can’t remember the scars I can’t remember my injuries but I can remember what I learned from them so now taking those things and turning it into something that can help other people as it’s my life’s mission I feel like I didn’t really have a mission before that it’s it’s I’d it it sounds crazy but trauma had it’s helping me to find the rest of my life and my purpose and what I’m going to do to to help the world and make an impact here on here so it’s it’s awesome I’m really excited and I thought I feel like my life is a good example of leveraging the bad to turn into something good well in can you speak to some of the things that you have going on outside of our podcast because you do more than this I have a lot going on and I will start with my family because they will kill me if I don’t I had we don’t want that no I don’t want that I’ve got a beautiful husband and two wonderful kids and they’re both in college and I just wrote a book I started a foundation for domestic violence survivors like me with children like mine and it’s the goal is empowerment but you impairment so that they can actually get on their feet and not be stuck to systems that will keep them impoverished and disenfranchised thank so they can gain their own power back and realized I can work the steps of this program and actually live a decent life a wonderful life around I live a wonderful life and I don’t think I’m extraordinary just think I worked for Planned so on and teach other survivors design and what’s the name of your organization always conserve our that’s our foundation I guess or something there we go he has survived and thrived yeah yeah it’s it’s basically the steps are taken along the way and it’s it’s been it’s been a process we’re opening a drop in center for survivors so they can come in and get resources instead of having to gather them from everywhere because I mean that’s the biggest issue they run into is like I got to go to all these different offices to get what I need I’m gonna put them all in one place so they can come to my place and get what they need someone actually removing some of the barriers yes that could trip them up and make it difficult mobility transportation all of those things and now we can just say they’re available there yeah tell me what you got going on

what do I have going on so I am a licensed professional counselor here in the state of Texas I have a master’s in counseling psychology and along the way though I also got introduced to coaching and that’s actually what I have going on now is doing a transformational coaching with that business leaders executives CEOs moms and dads individuals you know so we really it there’s not a there’s not just one kind of client that I work with as a coach but what was important for me in my own journey after I got trained you know I started working in the anti trafficking world and working with survivors of human trafficking slavery and bonded labor as well as sex trafficking and seeing the power that exists with healing that it really is possible to heal it’s possible to reinvent oneself no matter where they’ve come from and I and I saw that first hand after that I had several years of providing counseling services in a center for domestic violence and sexual assault other violent crime and again it through through these years getting to sit with people that have survived extreme adversity seeing them overcome seeing what’s possible for a human being and it just it resonated with my own experience in life I am a I am also a survivor experience child abuse at a young age for several years and it left me for a long time thinking I was broken and damaged and in my own healing journey what really shifted for me was when when I saw that what happened to me is not who I am right right it happened and I’m still here and and what that looks like was I went from you know moving into this place of being thankful in spite of what happened and then actually being thankful that it happened yes and that’s a journey that I was reminded that wasn’t that wasn’t anything that got forced on me that I had to forget it ever I had to be thinking that you know none of that but that journey as it unfolded it is I’ve created such a compassion to be able to work with and and and be with others not from a place of trying to fix them but from a place of who you are at your core is well and is okay and everything that we can struggle with in these journeys is what we’ve been what we’ve learned to believe about our that’s right the lies we tell ourselves and and being able to start getting rid of and letting go of those life so that we can begin to experience just how incredible we are in so that’s that’s where I am today in in working with people from all walks of life and set my intention is that they really get a sense of who they are what they’re capable of

that’s awesome that’s really good yeah I mean it’s it’s cool because when I work with clients every single day and when they get you know the win they get the W. you can see like the light in their eyes come back and it’s just it’s almost like a reactivation I’m not doing anything different I’m just selling hate reminding them of how amazing they are in that the lives they’ve been told I just that their life so now how do you go forward from here and how do you move you know into the life you deserve to live because you deserve the best you absolutely do I don’t think that there’s a person on this planet that doesn’t deserve to live a good life so it’s good it’s good I love them I’m so glad that we can do this together this is great yeah and I think a lot of what you leveraging life is all about is being able to see what is the gift in the adversity what it near what is it that life is actually handed me that I would not have had without that experience and and I love what Napoleon hill he talks about in his book think and grow rich that in every adversity there is a seed of advantage that there’s actually something in there that I wouldn’t have had I not gone through the difficulty and if I can find that see now it’s it’s a seed right now it is not fully developed it’s not obvious but if if I can can put on the lenses so to speak that into now that there is an advantage there is something that life has given me that life is actually for me in this and not against me in this that it’s that it’s raw material right in I get to choose what I do with that raw material I get to choose the meaning that I attached to it or or don’t attached to it yeah and and that I’ve seen is really what makes the difference in those that go on to not only heal and give to others but those that find themselves stuck for years and years and years is this meaning that gets attached to the experience right and if it’s a meaning that says you know what I can use this for my benefit for the benefit of others those people tend to move forward but if there’s a meaning that says well this means I’ll I’ll never find love or who I am is broken and damaged all of those things then those types of meetings will will keep someone stuck in and struggling and in life

not moving forward yeah have you seen that yeah I have it’s like you have to let go of those things I think forgiveness has a lot to do with that too learning to forgive and and that that comes through a higher level of consciousness you have to get past it because there’s some things I haven’t gotten better I’m sorry to all the all right now I am going past and I’m working on it but I know like I’m I’m heading somewhere you know and I feel like there are things it’s tiny people’s growth but there are internal like the it’s the abuses it’s something that affected you because we talk about it’s like this is zero but this is what’s outside your bubble this is what’s trending it doesn’t it’s not you you don’t have it yet yes it’s a doesn’t it it defines part of who you are but it is not who you are so I think if we put we can look at challenges that we face as things that help us to to find that special skin that’s why I tell people it’s like you guys are super heroes because you have this amazing extra skin that you’ve built up because you had to be resourceful and resilient and you have to learn how to do things that you wouldn’t know how to do because you are in the situation and now they’re sitting there going I don’t know what to do with all of this well they become creative they start writing the start be yeah you know like they’re start being entrepreneurs will star and be coming artists because they I have now this extra stuff with your super skin that they’ve built up now what do I do that it’s like one I mean every day I run this right was like well what do I want to do after I’m done with this they’re like going to come back and help no it’s a it’s pretty awesome to see that that network growing for people that they can directly relate to so you know

I think that’s one of the intentions of this program is for our listeners to be able to start recognizing look these are some leaders what what did you call special skin my special skiing years yes there are these these things to actually start recognizing these things are a benefit yes for me because if if all you can see is the hurt or the pain or the frustration and you know of maybe failed at something or something didn’t work out the way you wanted it to if that’s all you’re looking at it’s easy to miss okay here’s here’s the tool that I’ve been given is the gift that I’ve been given the honest and so this this leveraging life is actually being able to share stories that can shift the perspective of our listeners of our audience to be able start recognizing this is how life is gifted me as well here’s how I can use my special skin what you can never move forward unless you you realize that it is a gift it’s it’s a gift it’s swear to combat against but it’s in hindsight it’s like okay now I can see where it’s changed my trajectory a little bit I

I’m supposed to be a lawyer right now I’m just not I’m not I’m I’m I’m doing exactly what I’m supposed to do with my life right now and have it not happened I would be yeah you’ve got way too much work to do to be a lawyer know your it’s outside I got stuff to do I can be a lawyer so yeah it’s absolutely it’s awesome so I went when we talking about here we talked about my story and in our lab how my love my life how are you let it live your life and

I think what makes this conversation on common is that a lot of times when we’re in the conversation of difficulty or and eighty an abusive past or a some sort of adversity it’s easy to focus on the injustice of it all and it’s easy to have this in a conversation about that should not have happened to you yeah yeah this is a different conversation we’re we’re setting that aside we’re setting aside that lands up they should or shouldn’t have happened and actually taking a look at this is what happened and how are you going to use it right right right it happens right right so in that way it’s actually being able to well there’s a on there’s an old phrase that says pain is inevitable and suffering is optional okay so again if we resist our pain yeah by saying this should not have happened to me and actually keeps me stuck rather than doing something effective with it and using it like the raw materials you know that that life is giving me like the lemons right yes it is it’s all raw material yeah and if we can begin to have this conversation of dis so these these men and women that are going to be our guest we’re gonna be sharing their stories and being able to show how they take all of their circumstances may it may look very very different but again it’s all men raw material that then gets transformed and ands catalyzed if you will into something extraordinary something beyond anything you know they could even thought up of you know when they were fifteen twenty years old and growing up and yeah I mean yeah 

did you did you imagine that you’d be in this place in this life contributing at this level I want to tell you right now New Delhi any times like so I will give you an example I remember I had a particularly horrible fight with my abuser and I ended up in a closet and with My Baby and I just went to my my daughter and I just remember holding the door because he was pulling on the other side and I was just like this is the craziest thing that’s happening to me why is this happening to me and then all of a sudden I had this piece I don’t know what I don’t know how to describe it he stopped playing on the door and I just sat there and I was like this is gonna end at some point why is this happening to me and I would always ask why why me why do I deserve this why it’s not even about a why it’s about in my future what is this going to be become and I literally gone from being in a class and now I’m I’m working with the Biden foundation on legislation and on programs for women like me that’s the weirdest thing to me because I would never it twenty years ago uhhuh it was the worst thing ever I mean seriously black eyes I’m an experienced every physical trauma you probably could you know experience and I’m today I look back at it I don’t remember the pain I just remember where I came from and your minds in that but I am thankful for AM and that’s what I want other survivors of abuse or anybody’s ever survive something that there are gifts are coming for you thank just be hold tight because it’s common you just have to know that there is a reason that happened in your life and how can you turn that around as you talked about the mindset shift their hat that has to happen absolutely and I don’t really I can’t pin point in my life when that actually happened but I know that dead because when I was able to look at the situation objectively and say okay that did happen now I want to move forward what do I have to do to make that happen and that’s when thankfulness came that’s when forgiveness came that’s when all of these things that freed me up to be able to live the life I live now happened you know and I’m I’m telling you I’m not X. specs I have I don’t have a degree that makes me no my my symptoms are anything like that I’m just a regular person I just yeah I’m speaking from experience in terms now

so so you mention forgiveness a little bit earlier yes for you was it was it all at once you just for gay men and we’re done the nana took me a long time but I noticed that so this is kind of funny okay I’m sure I’m sure start my abuser is a chronic waiter that is when we went away like a O. okay wait in restaurants yeah that’s okay but he does that because you can’t turn his money doesn’t have to be child support like he does Cummiskey things to avoid responsibility financial responsibility so my brother he’s so funny he would call me and say Hey girl to go to that restaurant I would get a lot of young people like all of our restaurant because he’s there or whatever so over time I started like do not go out because I didn’t want to run into him and now I am like I run into him several times it’s the weirdest thing we have changed positions were for I was fearful of here hand because of what he had done to me now I look at him in a totally different light and I only came because I’ve forgiven he was huge before and now he’s is back and there is this big and now even existed in my life does that make sense and I think if you put people in the proper perspective they they don’t have that power it’s regaining that power of in my life and he never really had control because he didn’t have control of his own life but he did have he didn’t yield a certain amount of power over me and now that I’ve forgiven him because I understand him a little bit better I have taken time to understand myself on that that fearfulness is not there anymore yeah that forgiveness free me up to do a lot of things that I can I don’t think I would be able to do now

yeah you know for myself regarding forgiveness it was there was this there was this dance between healing and forgiveness yes it is so I can’t even say well the forgiveness allowed me to heal or healing allowed me to forgive but they’re they they went together in a way and and yeah and it’s it wasn’t a I actually I love I love what I heard one time regarding forgiveness there’s a there’s a passage in scripture that talks about what Jesus says forgive seventy times seven yes and yeah I’d always understood that to mean that every you know someone’s going to hurt you you know that many times you forgive them over and over again but I heard someone say one time that some some wounds take multiple passes that forgiveness sure you know so it it’s either could happen just once but it still takes choosing to forgive as many really as many times as it takes and if you’re willing to do that you know that can be a very important part of that the healing journey in the overcoming and then being in the solid place to really be able to to give the others out of wholeness not because your trying to complete something that still undone yeah can you and that’s important yeah yeah I know that like you said at the very base every year well yes people need to remember that that’s very true no matter what else happens and you are well and the very core of who you are as a an individual it’s the scraping away of the rest on the yeah and that’s how we’re gonna approach our conversations yet which is a shift in in you know a lot of thought out there so we’re we’re gonna be having a conversation from the place of who you are as well yes no matter what’s happened yes and then take it from there I’m listening a lot yes yes a lot because it’s so true I mean I am in the impound work that we do it’s like you have to remind them that there’s nothing wrong the work there and the place is that they are now they’re constantly they’re constantly it’s like it’s more not I can’t answer why not for I’ll give you the tools and I’ll help you walk through it which can absolutely just reminding them who they are so there’s nothing wrong with you nothing wrong you’re not broken you never you’re not damaged now there’s nothing to fix now yeah yeah so we start there start there yeah yeah Hey you played this is been wonderful and we are we’ll be back next time yes we will be back next time